The Poetry Place

Saturday, 23 November 2013 15:03:20

Saturday, 23 November 2013 15:03:20

I've made a few changes to the second and third verses. This is now as good as I can get it for the time being...

Gracie

It's not unusual to be in bed by seven
When you’re ninety-seven;
Not much to keep you awake.
But with people around
And the music loud
You might still be up and about:
And tonight’s a case in point -
Because tonight Gracie is dancing.

There's not much to do when you're that age;
Your thoughts go round and round -
Though tonight it’s not the same.
Sounds of music, gossip, laughter…
Gracie snaps her fingers to the beat
Does a bit of hand-jive
And then gets to her feet.
Yes, tonight Gracie is dancing.
 
She forgets which day it is,
Speaks her mind and mutters,
Repeats herself no end…
But tonight Gracie is in the groove
Her hands and eyes are on the move
And tonight, yes, tonight,
Gracie is dancing, dancing,
Tonight Gracie is dancing once again.

 

 



Gracie

Sunday, 17 November 2013 15:33:37

Sunday, 17 November 2013 15:33:37

I've made quite a lot of alterations but I'm not happy with the rhythm of some of the lines.

 

It's not unusual to be in bed by seven
When you’re ninety-seven
Not much to keep you awake
But with people around
And the music loud
You might still be up and about
And tonight’s a case in point
Because tonight Gracie is dancing.

There's not much to do when you're that age
Your thoughts go round and round
Though tonight it’s not the same
The sound of music, gossip, laughter…
She snaps her fingers to the beat
Does a bit of hand-jive
And then gets to her feet
Yes, tonight Gracie is dancing.
 
She forgets which day it is
Speaks her mind and mutters
Repeats herself no end…
But tonight Gracie is in the groove
Her hands and eyes are on the move
And tonight, yes, tonight
Gracie is dancing



Gracie

Thursday, 14 November 2013 9:52:52

Thursday, 14 November 2013 9:52:52

Sorry Gracie - I've been neglecting you.

Another, and probably final verse:


Gracie forgets which day it is
Speaks her mind and mutters
But tonight Gracie is in the groove
Her hands and eyes are on the move
And tonight, yes, tonight
Gracie is dancing

 

I haven't intended this to have a rhyme but as that one popped up naturally, I think it might fit the final verse.



Gracie

Monday, 4 November 2013 12:23:31

Monday, 4 November 2013 12:23:31

So a rough outline is forming:

 

There's not much to do when you're old

And Gracie is 97

Though tonight you wouldn't know

As she snaps her fingers to the beat

And then gets to her feet

Yes, tonight Gracie is dancing.

 

It's not unusual to be in bed by seven

Not much to keep you awake

But with people around

And the music loud

Tonight Gracie's still up and about

And tonight Gracie is dancing.

 

 



Gracie

Thursday, 31 October 2013 17:14:25

Thursday, 31 October 2013 17:14:25

Just noticed the previous typos. Especially like 'the children keep in ouch!'

What kind of shape to make this?

I think 'Tonight Gracie is dancing' should be a kind of refrain.

Gracie can be tiresome and demanding

Speaks her mind in public places

Forgets what she'd just said.

So what?

Tonight Gracie is dancing.

 



Gracie

Monday, 28 October 2013 15:36:28

Monday, 28 October 2013 15:36:28

What do we have as starting material?

 

Gracie can be tiresome / demanding

She's 97, lives on her own, forgets what day it is.

Her children keep in ouch - but they're not young.

She likes to speak her mind - especially in public places

but tonight Gracie is foot tapping

tonight Gracie id hand-jiving

tonight Gracie is dancing



Gracie

Thursday, 24 October 2013 17:35:24

Thursday, 24 October 2013 17:35:24

Gracie is 97. She still lives on her own and can look after herself pretty much. Her children do their best but they're hardly young. She can be tiresome and demanding and speaks too loudly in public places. But that night, at the wedding bash, Gracie was alive, finger snapping, hand-jiving and, yes, dancing.

I feel there's a poem here.



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