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Villanelle - complete and better for deletions

Monday, 11 April 2016 16:03:35

Monday, 11 April 2016 16:03:35

Now I can read ther whole thing through I find the second verse really unsatisfactory. I think it works better without it so I've deleted it. This changes the pattern of the villanelle but - to my delight - I realised when I checked with Dylan Thomas's'Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night' that I now actually had the 'correct' pattern. 

I started out to write some simple thoughts
I soon found out that words are tricky things
Free to all, their meanings can’t be bought.

Trying to express myself, I’m caught
By the clichéd phrases usage brings.
I started out to write some simple thoughts

Each simple thing soon gets overwrought
Starts down to earth but then takes wing: 
Free to fly, its meaning can’t be bought.

So all my precious ideas came to naught
I let them go, to fly, to sing
Though I started out to write some simple thoughts

Complications soon arose of every sort 
Drowned out my first imaginings
I started out to write some simple thoughts
Free to all, their meanings could not be bought.

 

 



Villanelle

Monday, 11 April 2016 15:53:12

Monday, 11 April 2016 15:53:12

Finally, the last verse where the repeated lines come together. In spite of the constraints of the form, it does manage to convey what I felt!

Complications soon arose of every sort 
Drowned out my first imaginings
I started out to write some simple thoughts
Free to all, their meanings could not be bought.



Villanelle

Friday, 1 April 2016 12:00:08

Friday, 1 April 2016 12:00:08

It's as hard as it looks!

I'm struggling with the idea that it's hard to get your ideas on paper. Here I think I've got the feeling of letting them go - wherever thoughts go...!

So all my precious ideas came to naught
I let them go, to fly, to sing
Though I started out to write some simple thoughts



Villanelle

Friday, 25 March 2016 16:29:35

Friday, 25 March 2016 16:29:35

The first line came quickly and then I had to sit awhile. It's interesting that sometimes a needed rhyme can inspire the image you want - the opposite to the usual problem of the rhyme tying you into meanings you didn't intend!

Each simple thing soon gets overwrought
Starts down to earth but then takes wing: 
Free to fly, its meaning can’t be bought.

I've adapted the last line to connect in a better way. It's a villanelle but I'm in charge.

 

 



Villanelle

Monday, 21 March 2016 10:03:37

Monday, 21 March 2016 10:03:37

I know this verse needs to end with 'I started out to write some simple thoughts' and that the middle line rhymes with things and the first with thoughts,

I have 'caught' in mind because I think of catching words, or sometimes catching or trying to catch meanings.  And I am sometimes caught by cliches, so that might work.

Once I had 'Trying to express myself...' the rest came to mind and all I altered was the addition of 'the' to the second line.

Trying to express myself, I’m caught
By the clichéd phrases usage brings.
I started out to write some simple thoughts



Villanelle

Tuesday, 15 March 2016 14:26:39

Tuesday, 15 March 2016 14:26:39

I started out to write some simple thoughts
But words are tricky things I soon found out
Free to all, their meanings can’t be bought.

My meditations were of a simple sort
But soon  - 

Soon I discovered what I should have known - out has far too few rhymes. So the first verse has to be reworked:

I soon found out that words are tricky things

So:
I started out to write some simple thoughts
I soon found out that words are tricky things
Free to all, their meanings can’t be bought.

My meditations were of a simple sort
But soon wide ranged imaginings
Free to all, their meanings can’t be bought



Villanelle

Tuesday, 8 March 2016 12:19:25

Tuesday, 8 March 2016 12:19:25

I started out to write some simple words
But words are tricky things I soon found out
What’s deep to me to you is just absurd

Yes, I soon discovered that word(s) was going to be too troublesome and would suck me into writing merely for the sake of rhyme. 

I’ll try this instead:

I started out to write some simple thoughts
But words are tricky things I soon found out
They’re free to all, one thing cannot be bought.

That line repeats 'things' and is clumsy. This is better:
Free to all, their meanings can’t be bought.



Villanelle

Wednesday, 2 March 2016 10:34:20

Wednesday, 2 March 2016 10:34:20

A villanelle depends on repeated lines and repeated rhymes, so you have to be careful how you begin or all sorts of problems develop later. 

I started out to write some simple words

But words are tricky things I soon found out

I'm aware that 'words' and 'out' have enough possibilities for me to play with in terms of rhyme or near rhyme so I'm fairly confident I won't get stuck. If I do, I will change / adapt one of the endings. 



Return of the Muse

Monday, 29 February 2016 18:09:54

Monday, 29 February 2016 18:09:54
Well the muse never goes away, just hides sometimes.  Challenged to write a villanelle and can't resist. So, thinking cap on....


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