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The jester

Wednesday, 24 May 2017 13:57:09

Wednesday, 24 May 2017 13:57:09

I've filled in the blanks and read it aloud a few times. Fairly happy with it now and will try it out on a real audience....

That lovely lass, the lass from Leicester
But…
Perhaps I might have guessed her
Sights were set much higher. Didn’t want to pester
So I sent a polite request to her
(Didn’t want to upset annoy or over stress her
Not annoy and not to test her
Patience much further.  But I missed her
Should I have risked it and kissed her? 
In my imagination I’d met and caressed her
Obviously, I mentally undressed her
But I was going out with her sister
At the time.  So I went east and she went west, a
An lost opportunity for a conquest, a
Fateful time for fancy to fester.
What could I do, could not arrest her!
But I made a mess of it, I confess, a
Chance passed by. She was to me a treasure chest, the
The fanciest bird in the paradise nest, a
Long time later we met – in Winchester
And she said, don’t know what possessed her,
“I liked you once but that was yester
Day.” Ah, well, I said farewell and calmly blessed her
Sadder, wiser, no longer the jester.



The jester

Sunday, 14 May 2017 10:20:45

Sunday, 14 May 2017 10:20:45

I've some jotted rhymes - mostly one which rely on the stressed 'est' syllable followed by a weak stress such as 'the' or 'a' or 'her'. For example, 'what possessed her' and 'blessed her'.

Treasue chest and nest give me the opportunity to play with a couple of comparisons... So something along these lines::

But I made a mess of it, I confess, a
Chance passed by. She was to me a treasure chest, the
The fanciest bird in the paradise nest, a
.......
she said, don’t know what possessed her,
“I liked you once but that was yester
Day.” .................... I blessed her
Sadder, wiser, no longer the jester.



Monday, 8 May 2017 11:38:59

Monday, 8 May 2017 11:38:59

Decisions made on word choices here and then further lines underlining the lost opportunity:

 

In my imagination, I’d met and caressed her

Obviously, I mentally undressed her - I

Should have seized my chance and kissed her

But I was going out with her sister

At the time.  

So I went east and she went west, a

 lost opportunity for a conquest, a

Fateful time ........

What could I do, could not arrest her!



The jester

Thursday, 4 May 2017 16:06:48

Thursday, 4 May 2017 16:06:48

I had a number of lines and half-lines penciled in for later in the poem but I've brought them forward to follow the second line below. Some decisions there to be made. I like the way 'going out with her sister' contrasts and adds more humour.

 

Patience much further.  But I missed her

Should I have risked it and kissed her?

In my (mind/thought/imagination/dreams) I’d met and caressed her

(Obviously, I) (Should I admit my thoughts) mentally undressed her

Should have seized my chance and kissed her

But I was going out with her sister

At the time.  



The jester

Thursday, 27 April 2017 9:20:25

Thursday, 27 April 2017 9:20:25

So, here's how it looks (and more importantly, sounds):

I met a girl and thought I’d impressed her

With my quick wit, my role as a jester

That lovely lass, the lass from Leicester

But…

Perhaps I might have guessed her

Sights were set much higher. Didn’t want to pester

So I sent a polite request to her

Not to annoy and not to test her

Patience much further. 

....What will happen next? A rhyme will suggest things to me but I won't let it dictate to me.



The jester

Tuesday, 25 April 2017 16:06:51

Tuesday, 25 April 2017 16:06:51

Take out 'eyes were elsewhere and substitute 'Sights were set much higher' as that gives it a context.

Then continue: 'Didn’t want to pester / So I sent a ...... request to her'

At any point I could mention that she was a lass from Leicester!



The jester

Friday, 21 April 2017 17:43:25

Friday, 21 April 2017 17:43:25

Some jottings while away...

She was surprised that I had addressed her
And I could see / should have guessed her
Eyes were elsewhere.

impressed her / distressed her / protester / pester 



Not the way you’re supposed to do things – but it makes a change.

Friday, 7 April 2017 15:01:15

Friday, 7 April 2017 15:01:15


‘Always begin with what you want to say and never let the rhyme decide for you.’  Well, what if I were to do the opposite?  I fancy writing a sound-based poem, probably for young readers (or listeners) but who knows?  

The word joker and the word jester came to me from some other work I was doing. I think one or the other might provide a host of interesting rhymes…  
I started looking at possible rhymes for joker:  poker  awoke her   choker   evoke a   cloak her   coca (cola)  soak a    woke her    yoke a   provoke a   stroke  broke a    smoker
Some interesting possibilities. Then I looked at rhymes for jester and thought, wow… there’s collection I can work with.  From Chester to zester, ‘impressed her’ to ‘request a’, plus all the near rhymes.


How might it start?
I met a girl and thought I’d impressed her
With my quick wit, my role as a jester...

(I feel a 'But....' coming on...)



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