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The Night Before Christmas parody

Tuesday, 19 December 2017 10:23:32

Tuesday, 19 December 2017 10:23:32

Perhaps that's a good place to stop!

Happy Xmas everyone.

 

‘Twas the day before term ends, when all through the school

Not a pupil was stirring, on chair or on stool.

The children were nestled all snug by their desks

And some of the teachers were taking a rest.

When out in the playground there rose such a clatter

I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew in a flash

And heard something fall with a bang and a crash.

The lights from school windows shone on the yard

Where something had fallen and fallen quite hard.

Yes, what to my wondering eye should appear
But a basket and a man with a beard.

The basket was fixed to an enormous balloon

That had come down to earth a little too soon.

And there in the basket with a bump on his head

Was someone we knew: the Man From OFSTED.

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricanes fly

And descend to the ground out of the sky,

So his balloon had lost height and fallen to earth!

“It’ll be in Special Measures!” we chuckled with mirth.  



Monday, 18 December 2017 12:26:45

Monday, 18 December 2017 12:26:45

The next verse came quickly after I decided that the bit about Donner and Blitzen wasn't going to work.

As dry leaves that the wild hurricanes fly

Descend to the ground out of the sky,

So his balloon had lost height and fallen to earth.

“It’ll be in Special Measures!” we chuckled with mirth. 



The Night Before Christmas parody

Friday, 15 December 2017 17:18:05

Friday, 15 December 2017 17:18:05

A decision made and we can go on.  It's not often you have to consider narrative and plot in a poem - well, not these days. Once it was the main way of telling a story, then it became one way of telling a story and now it's an unusual way of...  Okay, let's get on.

But a basket and a man with a beard.

The basket was fixed to an enormous balloon

That had come down to earth a little too soon.

And there in the basket with a bump on his head

Was someone we knew: the Man From OFSTED.



The Night Before Christmas parody

Wednesday, 13 December 2017 10:27:53

Wednesday, 13 December 2017 10:27:53

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,

So:

The lights from school windows shone on the yard

Where something had fallen and fallen quite hard

Yes, what to my wondering eye should appear

But a …. ?

 

The decision here will impact on the rest of the poem. What will it be?
 


The Night Before Christmas parody

Friday, 8 December 2017 13:49:28

Friday, 8 December 2017 13:49:28

These three lines needed hardly any changes:

When out in the playground there rose such a clatter

I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter

Away to the window I flew in a flash

But ‘Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash’ doesn’t sound like a school. Do I find a rhyme for flash or change flash to something else?  How about:

And heard something fall with a bang and a crash.



The Night Before Christmas parody

Monday, 4 December 2017 16:05:06

Monday, 4 December 2017 16:05:06

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;

‘Twas the day before term ends, when all through the school

Not a pupil was stirring, not even the Class Fool.

You have to use the first couple of lines as a basis as they are so well known but then I’m going to skip to the next verse, so we have:

The children were nestled all snug by their desks

(which is impossible to rhyme with, so we have to go for a near-rhyme:)

And all of the teachers were taking a rest.

And we are thinking of ‘What’s going on here?’ of course…



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