The Poetry Place

What will this turn out to be?

Monday, 28 January 2019 16:08:26

Monday, 28 January 2019 16:08:26
Sometimes things don't turn out quite like you expected.  I don't like the character I've invented so it's goodbye to him and onto something fresh soon.


What will this turn out to be?

Friday, 25 January 2019 15:39:55

Friday, 25 January 2019 15:39:55

Back to work!  I've been working hard on another project with fellow poet Bernard Young so my Poetry Place blog has taken a back seat and been put on the back burner. Not at the same time, one hopes.

The conversation seems to require a response from him.

Will he continue with self-pity or see himself more honestly?  It's a hard thing for anyone to do and 'Stop whining!' is not a very encouraging remark.

He does not reply; just sits and stares.
It's true. She really doesn't care
About his career, about his life...
Of all people, his own wife!

So it's self-pity, then.  What next?  He leaves - to the pub / for a long walk / wherever...
What might she do?  Perhaps she should leave him?  That would add to his problems!  



What will this turn out to be?

Sunday, 23 December 2018 16:56:15

Sunday, 23 December 2018 16:56:15

Lost causes which no one else fights
Are his to ponder on long winter nights
After the party when no one came.
Now he looks round for someone to blame...

Stop whining, she says, you're always the same
Look inside yourself. I won't play your game.
You say nobody came. That's not quite true -
Just not the people who seem to matter to you.

This is turning into a conversation / argument which could be quite interesting.  I added 'seem to' afterwards. Her comments undercut the impression of sadness we get at first. So people did come...  



What will this turn out to be?

Monday, 10 December 2018 10:34:56

Monday, 10 December 2018 10:34:56


I didn't realise how long I'd been away from the Poetry Place writing desk.  Lots of things happening. I've been promoting a book of sonnets and starting work on a book of advice for teachers and librarians about poetry with fellow poet Bernard Young.  But back to this poem...

The list of things above is a bit disjointed. Is there a theme or is it just a random list?  Lines 2 and 3 go together but don't fit with line 1 oor 5, for example.

I don't like line six - it seems cliched.  So either a complete reworking or it gets binned!

I think 'I'm sad' can go. Let the readers make up their own minds.

Lost causes which no one else fights
Are his to ponder on long winter nights
After the party when no one came.
Now he looks round for someone to blame...

 

 

 



What will this turn out to be?

Thursday, 22 November 2018 16:54:53

Thursday, 22 November 2018 16:54:53

I discovered some jottings from a long time ago. I know it's long ago because of the font: it's one that was in use with early word processors, probably on a BBC B computer. I wonder if anyone remembers them?

Some of the lines could be re-used, I think.
 
I'm sad for lost causes which no one fights
for tightly drawn curtains on long winter nights
The annoyance of newly laddered tights
the birthday party when no one came
a soldier's grave that bears no name
in a hundred years it will just be the same
that makes me sad
 
I'm not even sure that I wrote them. Perhaps it was from a writing class I gave?  Anyway, they are some raw material...

 

 



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