The Poetry Place

A1

Monday, 10 November 2014 9:10:45

 

 Trying to get the next lines to work. I want to get the sense of impatience - or of trying to look ahead without being able to...

 

Beyond the hills of earth

You glimpse the fields

You imagine the welcoming that awaits  (no, this line of approach abandoned)

But here are pipes and cranes and dumper trucks

Miles of cones, cement

 

This is better -

 

Beyond the hills of earth, the warning signs

You glimpse the fields, look (up) ahead in vain

But here are dumper trucks and pipes and cranes

Miles of cones, cement

 

Of course, lines is better than miles and forms a rhyme with signs:

 

Beyond the hills of earth, the warning signs

You glimpse the fields, look (up) ahead in vain

But here are dumper trucks and pipes and cranes

Something something and cones in line(s)



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