The Poetry Place


Friday, 9 January 2015 16:14:17

I've divided it into verses and added two words to line 8. I quite like the fact that there are rhymes but they are fairly restrained, shy - perhaps - like the mist.  Though the image of the shy mist doesn't work completely because it would be the person/thing drawing back the mist curtain which is shy, not the mist itself.  But I think we can leave that for any really analytical reader to worry about.

The sea is visible again;
the mist rolls back -
but shyly. We see
not as through a glass darkly
but through suburban lace.

We make out what we can:
the headlands, the islands and
a shapeless mark, a place
on what would be the horizon.

Things we know are there:
The islands and the capes
But which will not be revealed
Before the dark comes on
With blackout drapes.

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