The Poetry Place

Landscape Painting

Wednesday, 30 September 2015 20:00:48

I'm not happy with line 3. 


The surface is gently brushed  
the nap raised
just perceptibly sensitive to the touch 
a 1000  dots and dashes
never joined
never torn along the perforations
and communicating no message
we need to understand.
Now the yellow pedaloes
have returned to base
the shouts of children replaced 
by the clink of tent poles
and the sound of mallet on peg.


In line 3 want to get that feeling of tactility but very light. Sometimes you try very hard and just cannot find the word or image which does it. For the meantime I'll leave it.

There's also, from my notes, 'The cry of the waterfowl – species unknown – and
a quiet squadron of ducks interrogating the weeds.'

 
  



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