The Poetry Place

Landscape Painting

Thursday, 8 October 2015 9:50:12

Continuing the final lines, the sounds heard...

Now the yellow pedaloes
have returned to base
the shouts of children replaced 
by the clink of tent poles
and the sound of mallet on peg

and in the hush, we hear

the cry of the waterfowl

and notice a quiet squadron of ducks

interrogating the weeds.

I usually try to cut the number of words but couldn't see how to move logically from the mallet sounds to the waterfowl and then the ducks without a few extra words.  I'm fairly happy with this part and I do like 'interrogating the weeds' because that's what they seem to be doing.



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