The Poetry Place

Autumn Thoughts 4

Thursday, 12 November 2015 13:59:55

I like the idea of the tree waving (as it does, more than the ones around it) so why not waving goodbye?   Perhaps 'make a mosaic'; apart from the alliteration, make sounds less formal. Should yellow red and brown be moved up a line?

the aspen waves goodbye

to multi-coloured leaves

which form a mosaic on the ground

between lawn and compost bins

yellow red and brown

/  and a single robin enquires what I’m doing there / if I can’t turn over earth, just go away! 



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