The Poetry Place

Offa's Land

Thursday, 2 March 2017 14:05:45

I’d like to get the first eight lines, the octet, in a semi-finished state before moving on. 

Patch of what?  That doesn’t work.  What else hems in the land is fencing – and I have a light bulb moment where exactly the right word comes to mind.  A stretch of fencing – and stretch will near-rhyme with Marches.

By lines of hedgerows and the odd stretch

Of wooden fence and hemmed (in) by ditch and track (lane)

Here and there this garment’s torn

…. Line needed here…

Punctured by prefabricated sheds and shacks.


Track is just as good as lane, and shacks suits my meaning nicely.  The missing line will almost certainly end with ‘worn’ and the line before is too short.  Here and there is too vague anyway.

Over the next hill / rise, this garment’s torn

The fabric’s lost its sheen, is all worn

Out: punctured by prefabricated sheds and shacks.


Prefabricated sounds clumsy. I’ll take the more obvious agricultural.

Please leave a comment:

Please note that posts will only go live following approval from the blog moderator.

Return to blog


Archived blogs

   [OPEN/CLOSE]  How to...

   [OPEN/CLOSE]  Sonnets

   [OPEN/CLOSE]  Topics and themes

   [OPEN/CLOSE]  Parodies and homages

   [OPEN/CLOSE]  Different types of poem


  • Poetry Archive

  • The Poetry Zone

  • Poetry by Heart

  • Forward Poetry

  • British Library

  • Poetryclass

  • The Poetry Society

  • Foyle Young Poets of the Year Award

  • Tower Poetry

  • We use cookies to deliver functionality and provide you with a better service. By continuing to browse our site you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Find out more.

    Don't show this message again.