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Offa's Land

Thursday, 2 March 2017 14:05:45

I’d like to get the first eight lines, the octet, in a semi-finished state before moving on. 

Patch of what?  That doesn’t work.  What else hems in the land is fencing – and I have a light bulb moment where exactly the right word comes to mind.  A stretch of fencing – and stretch will near-rhyme with Marches.

By lines of hedgerows and the odd stretch

Of wooden fence and hemmed (in) by ditch and track (lane)

Here and there this garment’s torn

…. Line needed here…

Punctured by prefabricated sheds and shacks.

 

Track is just as good as lane, and shacks suits my meaning nicely.  The missing line will almost certainly end with ‘worn’ and the line before is too short.  Here and there is too vague anyway.

Over the next hill / rise, this garment’s torn

The fabric’s lost its sheen, is all worn

Out: punctured by prefabricated sheds and shacks.

 

Prefabricated sounds clumsy. I’ll take the more obvious agricultural.



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