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I Remember Retford

Thursday, 4 March 2010 14:10:03
So the final (for the moment) version looks like this:

Yes I remember Retford

More than the name

Because one late afternoon

Of mist the express train

Left me there. A few people

Came and went, someone swore

And all I saw was that

The one coach train was late

And dry grass, bare trees, concrete

And slow encroaching fog

But even there

I heard a blackbird sing;

It cheered the cold wait

On low level platform four

And in response, one bird more.


Should the last lines be ordered diferently? 


But even there

On low level platform four

I heard a blackbird sing;

It cheered the cold wait

And in response, one bird more.


should there be an extra syllable - 'long cold wait'?


So it probably isn't finished after all. But as far as this blog is concerned it'll go into the Archive from which no poem returns.



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